Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Time to Ponder

Wow it has certainly been awhile, I wonder if I even still remember how to do this. Writing everything that's in my head, it's harder than it sounds. So many times I want to go back and delete and edit and it takes a lot of will power to let it stay raw.

I just had to write down these thoughts though. I'm in a really inward-looking, deep-thought state of mind. I was up talking to my babe and watching the lunar eclipse on my computer then something in me really wanted to go outside and really get a look at for myself, but it was cold and I was tired. Then one of my friends convinced me to get up and I am so glad I did. It was an absolutely gorgeous thing to see. It also made me feel good, like I was truly living my life at that moment. Whenever some once in a
lifetime event happens, I feel really arrogant when I don't go to see it. Who am I that I was so busy doing something so important that I miss one of God's masterpieces? Sitting on my steps looking up at the moon and the stars really made me feel small. All that I know and understand is limited to this one planet. I know nothing of what lies out there in that sky.

So my friend and I got to talking, just bouncing theories back and forth about life on other planets and wormhole theory, nerdy things like that and it just really set my mind on fire. So many questions like wow what if there are more than three dimensions? Imagine taking the derivative of time with respect to some other quantity? What would that be and what would it look like? Just the intellectual banter that was going back and forth between us was amazing. Neither of us had any answers at all, and it was then that I realized. This is why I chose the major I chose. Lately I have been in a place where I really hated engineering and was really doing it just for the money, but now I remember why I love it. I love it because I love not knowing, and then questioning and questioning.

The one area where I diverge from the typical engineer, and this is why I butt heads with the curriculum, is because I think that our society as a whole places too much pressure on the answer and not enough emphasis on the thought or the process of learning and understanding. See though for me I think it is a little bigger than that even. I think that sometimes it is okay to not have the answer. I mean it seems dumb to have a question and not have or want the answer but I don't know. Sometimes I don't want to have to know why. Sometimes I just want to come up with a great question and then just sit in awe of GOD's grandeur. How many dimensions are there? Who knows, but things like black holes and wormholes are some of the things that I just think of and immediately think of the vastness of GOD.

No real point to this post, just really intense thoughts I had to express.

1 comment:

  1. Yo those conversations are the best! I know exactly how you feel my man. I love talking with people about space, time, universe, planets, string theory... all the stuff that is on the forefront of the technical world and how it is all connected. And somehow in every conversation I have about this stuff, the meaning of life and God always come into the talk. It's really awesome. I used to think that becoming an engineer or scientist would make it harder to believe in my religion or God, but it's only made it easier to see His work... to see the perfection of all that we know... and to see how much we still don't understand.

    Albert Einstein was someone who often philosophized with other scientists about religion and many of the worlds foremost scientists are very into their faith. One of my favorite quotes was when Einstein said "God doesn't play with dice"... and Bohr replied with "Don't tell God what to do with his dice." I would of loved to hear these two talk about religion and science... it would be our conversations on steroids... mind blowing.

    One conversation that I vividly remember was talking with Paco driving through upstate New York late at night... the sky was incredibly clear... so many stars to admire. We started talking about everything... big bang theory, stars, planets, life... and we just bounced ideas, thoughts, and theories off of one another. As we were in the heat of conversation, a shooting star shot right in front of us and we both stopped talking at the exact same time... it was like God was chiming in on the conversation. It was such an amazing experience and I feel like it's similar to what you were feeling here. Keep doing your thing man... it's why we continue to do what we do even when we feel like we hate it.