Craziness

Alright so I don't know when I made the last post but a butt load of stuff has gone down since. I don't really know how to write all this down, and I'm sure this post will lack significant structure because I've just got a lot going on.

So since last time we spoke a lot has changed. My girlfriend of more than a year and I broke up. Why you ask? Well the best way I can explain it is that we just were no longer boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. At least that's how i felt. Like when I thought of her I didn't really think of my "girlfriend" as much as I thought about a friend. Personally I felt I was lyiing to her everythime I said I love you. Not because I didn't love her but because I knew I didn't love her the same way she loved me. So I did what I felt had to be done and I ended it. Anyone who knows me knows that I never ever want a break a girl's heart and I tried my best to be as gentle as possible. Feelings are always hurt though when something like this happens right? I don't know I still feel bad for making her so upset but I have come to the realization that I handled it the best way it could possibly be handled.

So after that all goes down I am a single man and I am not trying to be in a serious relationship, but then someone new just takes over my life. Honestly I mean that in the most sincere, loving way possible. Also I think I should rephrase what I said. She wasn't exactly new at all. In fact, she had always been there. Since I'd been in college she was always here, but she was never ever a prospect. She was my sister. My closest friend and confidante. We were as close as two people could be but it was never "like that". Well all I can say is that now it is. I broke up with my ex and she was right there for me like she always had been. Then I realized shouldn't my significant other be the person that is always there, and knows everything about me? It just happened. Honestly it wasn't even as awkward as you'd think. It was more awkward for everyone around us. Whatever, I don't care about the world. They can all suck it.

So I mean that's where I am right now. Funny because I spent the whole last post talking about emotions and then all this happens. Crazy right? Hence the title.